(SPOILERS AHEAD, so “toe the line,” ye Breaking Bad fanatics!)

Season Five, Episode 15: “Granite State”

Written and Directed by: Peter Gould

After the emotional onslaught of last week’s soul-crushing “Ozymandias,” I wasn’t even sure what I wanted from Breaking Bad anymore. I knew I’d just witnessed what could be the single greatest episode of television ever aired (or at least what seemed like it the time), but even still, did I even enjoy it? “Ozymandias” was beautiful in the way many eulogies are beautiful. I was a trainwreck afterward, and I’m honestly not sure I could’ve handled another one of its ilk.

“Granite State” stirred up some of the same emotional turmoil, but it largely simmered rather than exploded. If “Ozymandias” was a shotgun to the temple, “Granite State” was the start of a slow death from ricin poisoning. The title is clearly a reference to New Hampshire, Walt’s new home. But it also seems to reference his mental state (and maybe ours).

Welp, this is it. One more episode (an extra-long episode, mind you) of Breaking Bad to go.

Quick Breakdown

This episode made ample use of its extra 15 minutes. This could have easily been another “moving chess pieces into place” episode (Speaking of which, who else caught the White King chess reference in “Ozymandias”?), and with the finale one episode away, it obviously did set up the board for one wild conclusion. But writer-director Peter Gould wrangled every ounce of pathos from that set-up. You’d think we’d be out of surprises at this point in the series, but the episode still veered in unexpected directions. It was also funny — quite funny — and filled with plenty of arresting visuals and music.

But let’s hit up the highlights.

The episode opens with a lovely misdirection, as the beat-up Hoover Dude pulls into an anonymous warehouse to reveal not Walt — but Saul. “It’s an actual store!,” Saul notes, realizing the Hoover guy is, ya know, actually a real-life Hoover guy. (I guess the vacuum game has its financial drawbacks.) After getting his new driver’s license, he’s introduced to his new bunkmate, Heisenberg. It’s safe to say they’re not on the smoothest terms: Saul schools Walt on the fact that he’s actually screwing over his family, and he tells the bald bastard to face the music.

Walt’s ego, of course, won’t allow that to happen, but he claims his mission is selfless: He wants to get those money barrels back to his family, their rightful owners. “My money goes to my children — not just this barrel, all of it.” It’s clear at this point that Walt is simply trying to cling to any semblance of power, and failing: When he demands that Saul provide a list of mercenaries to avenge the Nazis, Saul isn’t even really that intimated. “It’s over,” he says, quietly sneaking out of the room. (Is this Saul’s farewell? If so, he went out with a stellar jokes-per-minute ratio, even in these obviously grim circumstances.)

“Granite State” didn’t leave much screen time for Betsy Brandt. Marie appears only briefly, riding along with the cops as they pull up, guns blazing, to the Schrader home, which has been ransacked by the Nazis. Yet Brandt made the most of her borderline non-appearance, portraying the anguished blankness of a newly widowed young woman, straining for hope in a swirl of confusion. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing plenty more of Marie in the finale — Gilligan and team rarely pull out a Chekhov’s gun unless they intend to fire it, and the whole therapist-poison talk still lingers menacingly in the shadows.

Meanwhile, the Nazis only continue to grow more and more disturbing. They gather around and watch Jesse’s confession tape, calling him a “pussy” as he cries on-screen. “Boom, like it was nothing,” Jesse says about Todd killing Drew Sharp, and Todd smiles happily on the sidelines. At this point, it’s somewhat difficult to keep up with Todd’s manic shifts in emotion: First, he cried when Hank is gunned down last week — but was that because he felt sorry for Walt, his idol?

This week, he smiles giddily about how he gunned down a child and leaves another child motherless as he shoots Andrea in the back of the head (as Jesse, in punishment for his botched hatch escape, watches from the car in horror). He also solidifies his romantic feelings toward Lydia, attempting to flirt (quite awkwardly, as one might expect) in the diner, where he gains leverage in their relationship by informing her of Jesse’s 92% meth purity. He’s even teased by Nazi uncle Jack (Oh, T-Bone’s got a crush! Here’s $20; take her to the movies.)

Skyler is totally spaced-out. In meetings with the police and lawyers, she’s grilled about details on Walt’s location (which she doesn’t know). Back at home, in one of the most jarring and terrifying scenes in the history of the show, Todd and the Nazis (TERRIBLE band name, by the way) break into Holly’s bedroom and give Skyler a shake-down, warning her not to mention Lydia’s name to the police. (Todd also touches Skyler’s shoulder…in the creepiest way possible.)

But dear God, let’s talk about the Walt storyline.

Mr. Actual Hoover Guy drops him off in New Hampshire, where he settles into a snowy mountain cabin.
He’s got food, a stove, DVDs, and most importantly, the security of an anonymous place to hide. Mr. Actual Hoover is now Walt’s only remaining companion — a sad, sad truth indeed. Taking $50,000 in extra payment, Hoover agrees to be his connection to the outside world, watching over his family and keeping stock of their legal standings.

Walt has grown out his hair; he’s rapidly losing weight, and Hoover is helping administer his at-home chemo. This leads us to what literally could be the saddest scene in the history of the series.

“Stay a little longer?,” Walt asks of the Hoover Man, after their session is through. “Two hours? I’ll give you another $10,000. Please.”

“$10,000. One hour. Cards?”

“One of these days when you come up here, I’ll be dead. My money over there — what happens to it then? What if I ask you to give it to my family? Would you do it?”

“What if I said yes? Would you believe me?”

Walt is now Walt again — this isn’t Heisenberg begging a near-stranger to play cards.

But, as we know from those ominous flash-forwards, it won’t be long before Heisenberg is re-awoken. There are two nails put in Walt’s coffin, the first being a death-wish from Walt Jr., who, after being tricked into accepting a phone call at school, refuses to accept his father’s money. “Why won’t you just die already?,” Jr. screams. “Just die!” (If somehow R.J. Mitte doesn’t appear in the finale, he went out with a triumphant moment.)

The second nail-in-the-coffin is more unexpected: Walt, slumped and disheveled at the local bar, after giving his location to the DEA, notices his old pal Gretchen (the Grey Matter executive) being interviewed by Charlie Rose on TV. In my heart of hearts, I truly believed this plotline was too crucial to be left dangling: After all, his failure with Grey Matter (and his subsequent arrogance) is what ultimately leads to his downfall in the first place. To Gretchen, Walt is now nothing more than a disgusting blemish in her memory — one who had “virtually nothing to do with the creation of the company.”

“Whatever (Heisenberg) became,” she says, “the sweet, kind, brilliant man we knew long ago — he’s long gone.”

And as the police show up to take him down, he is indeed gone — vanished in the cold, boiling with rage, ready for redemption.

Rating

A

Now for some random thoughts and my favorite moments of the night…

Saul teasing his hair for drivers license picture…

“Best case scenario, I’m managing a Cinnabon in Omaha.” — Saul (How I’d love to create that show, which I would title Best Case Scenario.)

“It’s that Lydia woman–you’re sweet on her, you little bastard.” — Jack (Speaking of which: Is Todd an actual bastard? Where are his parents? And now that I think about it, how old is he anyway?)

“I just think we work together good. We make a good team. I think it’s kind of mutually good.” — Todd

The Nazi barracks may be bare-bones, but they sure don’t skimp when it comes to a good plasma screen!

“Just so you know, it’s nothing personal,” Todd says before shooting Andrea in the head. Jesse cries hysterically. (Aaron Paul should’ve won the Best Cry on a TV Drama category at the 2013 Oscars.)

That was a really important paperclip.

Todd brings Jesse ice cream. Aww!

(Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. Two copies!)

Sir Paul McCartney has unveiled the artwork for his upcoming studio album New (out October 15th in the U.S.). According to Macca’s website, the boldly colorful design was created by Ben Ib and inspired by sculptural artist Dan Flavin.

In other news, McCartney’s also shared the deluxe edition tracklist for New, which includes two bonus tracks produced by Ethan Johns. You can pre-order the set over at Amazon.

Check out the details below. What do you think of the artwork? Are you excited for the album?

1. Save Us (produced by Paul Epworth)
2. Alligator (produced by Mark Ronson)
3. On My Way To Work (produced by Giles Martin)
4. Queenie Eye (produced by Paul Epworth)
5. Early Days (produced by Ethan Johns with additional production by Giles Martin)
6. New (produced by Mark Ronson with additional production by Giles Martin)
7. Appreciate (produced by Giles Martin)
8. Everybody Out There (produced by Giles Martin)
9. Hosanna (produced by Ethan Johns)
10. I Can Bet (produced by Giles Martin)
11. Looking At Her (produced by Giles Martin)
12. Road (produced by Paul Epworth)
13. **Turned Out (produced by Ethan Johns with additional production by Giles Martin)
14.** Get Me Out Of Here (produced by Giles Martin)

**Deluxe Edition

The Cavern Club is headed to auction. The legendary Liverpool spot is the pseudo-birthplace of The Beatles, who played there nearly 300 times in their formative days.

According to NME, Warner Estate (who own the Matthew Street building and the Cavern Walks Shopping Centre) were forced to file administration (or bankruptcy) last month. The club is expected to be sold for one million pounds.

It’s worth noting that this particular Cavern Club isn’t the very same one The Fab Four played in the early ’60s and were spotted by manager Brian Epstein. The original was destroyed in 1973 in order to equip an underground train system, and a replica was created in 1984.

Much like the African snake that lends the festival its namesake, Boomslang slithers across various venues throughout the city of Lexington, Kentucky. Now in its fifth consecutive year, the festival has brought a number of reputable artists from across the world to the bluegrass state for a weekend filled with music, visual arts, workshops, and more. Curated the University of Kentucky’s student ran radio station (WRFL 88.1 Radio Free Lexington), Boomslang prides itself on providing a platform for non-mainstream and non-commercial music and other art forms. Which isn’t to say the line-ups themselves aren’t impressive: Previous years have featured acts like Jeff Mangum, Das Racist, Swans, Ty Segall, Akron/Family, and other influential artists, and the lineup for 2013 offered the same great consistency of previous years.

Friday, September 20th

The festival kicked off early in the evening with local Lexington psychedelic-rockers Ancient Warfare. Various artists decorated the schedule throughout the day, including experimental songwriter Chelsea Wolfe, noise-rockers Dope Body, and alt-rock outfit Mayonnaise. Lexington’s Carrick Theatre housed the Wild Women of Poetry Slam, which featured musician/poet Saul Williams as a special guest judge.

The highlight of the day was definitely the block of artists performing at Cosmic Charlie’s. The evening started off relatively tame with electronic musician Carl Calm, who delivered his synth-driven set to the sparse crowd that arrived early. The number of attendees in the venue increased rapidly during Adult.’s set, which plucked a wide variety of songs throughout the husband-and-wife duo’s extensive 15-year catalogue. The crowd became engaged when singer Nicola Kuperus climbed off the stage to join the audience, eventually fighting her way through the length of the venue to the bar housed in the back, all while singing along perfectly to the pulse-dominating beat that engulfed the room.

Liverpool’s Clinic joined the stage next, sporting their signature scrubs and surgical masks, performing an energized set of their unique brand of noisy psych-rock. Digging through a variety of old and new tracks, the crowd seemed to remain at a steady high, which continued well into Com Truise’s headlining set. The synth-heavy electronic musician set the dance floor in motion with his 1980s-inspired tracks, keeping the audience captivated throughout the late night hours of the last show of the day.

Saturday, September 21st

Al’s Bar housed the first round of shows for Day 2, which featured six acts, including virtuoso guitarist Marnie Stern, punk-pop duo Bleached, and Lexington-based synth-pop artist Idiot Glee. The artists alternated between the indoor and outdoor stages, allowing for quicker transitioning times, as well as a change of scenery for those that attended. The festival’s metal/heavier-themed block was housed at an unlikely venue, Embrace Church. A few hundred came out to enjoy the loudest sounds of the festival, played six bands, including metal acts Pallbearer and Locrian.

Sonic Youth’s Kim Gordon showed off her experimental project Body/Head at Buster’s Billiards. The duo (which also features Bill Nace as another guitarist) unleashed a slew of songs off of their recently released debut album, keeping the crowd mesmerized with their abstract delivery of noise-rock, which seemed to lull everyone in a fixated trance. Along with haunting sound of the guitars and occasional droning harmonica, the show was accompanied by a slow-motion video which featured a woman being filmed and painting. This display created an eerie — but awesome — vibe, especially during the encapsulating “Black,” which closed out the show.

Sunday, September 22nd

The pace slowed down on Sunday, with considerably fewer events marking the schedule in comparison to Saturday (which luckily meant fewer conflicts throughout the day). The lack of variety for the day was completely overshadowed by the great acts that played, including a stacked block at Buster’s, which included dream-pop outfits Pure X and Youth Lagoon, trap-pop act Jamaican Queens, and alt-rock legends Blonde Redhead.

Youth Lagoon’s set stood out as one of the best moments of the festival. The crowd of a few hundred stood in a venue which houses a much higher capacity, which allowed the crowd a perfect view of the stage. Trevor Powers played his variety of dreamy, lo-fi, bedroom-pop, including staples “Dropla” and “July,” backed by a full band who fleshed out the sound in a live setting. Jamaican Queens took the much smaller side stage at Buster’s, but offered a powerful, energetic (and much too short) set to the crowd huddled around them. Festival headliner Blonde Redhead closed out the weekend, filling the room with their dreamlike rock, before sending the festival-goers home to anticipate what artists might make an appearance next year.

(SPOILERS AHEAD, HIMYM freaks!)

Season Nine, Episode One: “The Locket”

Written by: Carter Bays & Craig Thomas, Directed by: Pamela Fryman

It’s here! The final season of How I Met Your Mother! And now that we know who The Mother is, we’ll have a full season of her bumping into all of the characters at the wedding (ending with Ted, of course). Speaking of the wedding, this will also be television’s longest wedding (EVER!). For the last two seasons, they have been slowly revealing moments from this wedding. And now for this final season, we will follow the 55 hours leading up to the wedding and then, maybe, someone will be married.

Quick Breakdown

Friday 11 a.m., 55 hours before the wedding.

We left off with all the characters (including The Mother) scattered around, scrambling to get to Farhampton for the wedding.

Ted is driving Lily and being his usual obnoxious self. He puts on his driving gloves and hands Lily a giant binder labeled “Lil & Ted’s Excellent Adventure” (a funny shout out to the 1989 film Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure) – full of minutiae about Long Island and the “sights” to check out on their trip from Manhattan to Farhampton. Lily gets annoyed, like really annoyed.

Barney and Robin are riding in their limo (driven by Ranjit), discussing wedding plans. A joke about a ring bear – “You mean ‘ring bearer,’ RIGHT?” Robin anxiously asks – gets overused before a bigger issue arises. As they count up their wild card family members who may ruin the wedding, Barney and Robin realize they share a cousin Mitch. Could they be related?

Marshall is on a plane to New York (with lifeless baby Marvin in his lap), sitting next to guest star Sherri Shepherd. His mother posts a photo of Marshall “being a JUDGE” online, and he freaks out about Lily seeing the photo. (She gets the alert on her phone but chooses to ignore the photo, assuming it’s another passive aggressive picture about their impending move to Italy.) Instead of just calling Lily and telling her about his new job as a judge, he calls his mother to get her to take the photo down. Unfortunately, she is inept at “the online” and can’t delete the photo.

Lily gets so annoyed with Ted that she makes him drop her off at the train station. After a callback joke about drunk people on the train (Remember that season where they commuted to Long Island every episode?), Lily resignedly settles into a seat adjacent to none other than the Mother.

Barney and Robin make a lot of icky faces as they deny that they share DNA. They call all their relatives to get to the bottom of it. This entire bit feels like lazy writing. We know they won’t turn out to be actually related (Robin’s grandmother informs them that he was adopted on her side of the family). It comes off as a forced conflict to give them something to do in the limo. Hopefully this kind of stalled storytelling doesn’t become a recurring pattern in this season.

The flight attendant yells at Marshall to get off of his phone. Sherri Shepherd yells at Marshall to get off of his phone. Marshall yells at his mother to “just click OPTIONS!” Naturally, they get kicked off the flight.

Lily sits on the train, fuming about Ted and the unseen photo of baby Marvin. She mumbles some of her internal dialogue aloud. The Mother overhears “lonely” and “unicorn” and offers her a cookie to calm her nerves. “And that’s how Lily met your mother,” Future Ted tells us.

Soon Lily and The Mother (How long until she has a name?) bond as Lily bitches about Ted’s mannerisms, which The Mother secretly shares (you know, since she and Ted are soulmates). As she vents, Lily realizes that Ted was being obnoxious on purpose, wanting her to separate from him. The reason? Robin’s locket.

Last season, Robin went searching for that special locket and couldn’t find it. Ted thought he knew where it was, but didn’t. Then he realized that his ex Stella might have it. Lily suspects that Ted flew to L.A. to get the locket back and intends on giving it to Robin. Now she desperately needs to get to Farhampton before him, so she can stop him.

As they wait for the next flight, Sherri Shepherd continues to clash with Marshall. He’s online trying to delete the photo as she ironically yells “just click OPTIONS” at him – the joke is that there is no “options” button available. As everyone crowds around them, giving input, Marshall gives up on ever deleting it, resigning himself to the biggest fight he’ll ever have with Lily. Then baby Marvin comes to life, hits the keyboard, and makes the photo disappear (just as Lily clicks on the photo link on her phone).

With that crisis averted, we learn that there is only one more flight to New York and that there is only one seat available. Marshall and Sherri Shepherd give each other determined looks and then race off to the other flight, which is waiting on the completely opposite side of the airport.

Ted arrives at the Farhampton Inn, beautifully wrapped box in hand. Lily arrives right behind him and tackles him as he greets Robin. Despite the tackle (which won’t be the last one she does this season) Ted gives Robin the gift. But it’s not the locket. The gift is a photo of the gang from season one (the same photo used in the opening credits). Just a sentimental memento, not an emotional bomb.

Lily pulls Ted to the side and makes him promise not to do anything crazy during this wedding. He honestly agrees, but we (and Future Ted) know that he’ll break that promise.

The episode ends with a flashback to four days earlier with Ted at an airport, buying a ticket to LA. Looks like that locket might show up after all.

Rating

C+

This was a pretty weak season premiere. None of the gags managed to elicit a laugh from me, and the story feels like it’s going in circles. I was apprehensive of this season’s format – essentially the sitcom form of 24 – and it seems my fears were well placed. I don’t expect this season to really pick up until the second half.

Now for some random thoughts and my favorite moments of the night…

Have you noticed how often Lily says the word “bitch?”

The Game of Thrones joke was the only amusing thing to come of Barney and Robin’s incest story. And, of course, Barney is Team Joffrey.

Wayne Brady made an appearance singing “Islands in the Stream” dressed on one half like Kenny Rogers and on the other half like Dolly Parton.

Cristin Milioti was fairly charming as the Mother, but I’ll definitely need some time for her to grow on me.

“Islands in the Stream” is still stuck in my head.

(SPOILERS AHEAD, so proceed with caution, you Mother lovers!)

Season Nine, Episode Two: “Coming Back”

Written by: Carter Bays & Craig Thomas, Directed by: Pamela Fryman

This episode is much better than the lackluster season premiere – good thing they aired them back to back. Shows like this always fare better when the core cast is together. Plus, a flash-forward at the end of the episode gives us one of the best moments of the series.

Quick Breakdown

Friday 12 p.m., 54 hours before the wedding.

Ted and Lily are checking into the Farhampton Inn, and the front desk clerk Curtis (guest star Roger Bart) makes fun of single and lonely Ted. This painfully unfunny gag goes on for the entire episode, and I won’t be surprised if it pops up again later (and you can be sure I’ll be audibly groaning when it does). Fortunately, the episode can only get better after this.

Marshall calls, telling Lily that he can’t get a flight to New York. She freaks out about being alone all weekend and pays the bartender Linus to keep her drunk. I guess we can look forward to Lily being a drunken mess all weekend.

Barney calls Marshall, telling him to be aggressive in getting to the wedding; but Marshall won’t have it – he’s such a nice Midwesterner at heart. The flight attendant tells him and Sherri Shepherd that an incoming storm on the East Coast (a storm that will no doubt encourage the Mother to use her yellow umbrella) has delayed all flights to New York indefinitely. So Marshall and Sherri Shepherd race to the car rental agency, hoping to snag one of the last cars available.

At the Inn, Barney is reveling in his brother James’ wedding anniversary. He claims that when James married Tom he broke “The Stinson Curse.” Back in Moscow, 1807, the Stinson brothers accidentally ran over an old gypsy woman. With her dying breaths, she cursed them with “an unquenchable thirst for booty” (They were deeply monogamous men before this). Now, with the Stinson brothers as married men, it seems the curse has been lifted.

Except, it hasn’t. When Barney leaves to talk to Marshall, James tells the others that he’s divorcing Tom. James’ curse wasn’t lifted, and he cheated on Tom, a lot. Robin begs him not to tell Barney, fearing it will throw off Barney’s will to get married. But drunk Lily spills the secret, and Barney rushes out of the room.

In competing lines, it seems that Sherri Shepherd will snag a car, leaving Marshall with nothing. But his line miraculously moves faster than hers, and he gets the last car at the agency. The 2006 Monstrosity Sport is environmentalist Marshall’s worst nightmare, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have a car seat for baby Marvin. In the name of being nice, Sherri Shepherd offers to drive to get a car seat and come back to pick them up. Marshall naively agrees and gives her the keys and a $100 bill. Sherri Shepherd’s malicious grin makes us doubt she’ll be back any time soon.

Robin chases after Barney, imploring him not to run to the nearest, dirtiest strip club. Curtis’ bad jokes continue as he points out the nearby strip clubs. But Barney wasn’t looking for a strip club — he just wanted the key to James’ room. Being a good bro, Barney had pimped out his room for their anniversary, complete with an erotic cake replica of James and Tom. Robin is relieved (and turned on), falling even more in love with Barney. This storyline mirrors the conflict they had from the last episode, putting their relationship in danger only to end with them relieved and kissing. Hopefully Carter and Craig won’t endanger this couple in every episode this season.

Marshall continues to wait for Sherri Shepherd to return, and, just as he gives up hope, she appears. With the car seat in place, Marshall and Sherri Shepherd can begin their road trip to New York. (Is Sherri Shepherd now a series regular?) Marshall’s conflict in this episode also mirrors his from the previous episode. Both times he resigns himself to utter despair only to have the conflict immediately (and happily) resolved right after doing so.

As Ted continues to wait for his room to become available, we get a great flash-forward. One year later, Ted and the Mother return together to the Farhampton Inn. He promised himself in the present day to come back here with her, knowing he would meet her soon. This scene gives us our first glimpse of the two together, but it was so surprising that it felt almost anti-climactic. Luckily for us, the two have good chemistry together, and this scene certainly won’t be the last one like it this season. Carter and Craig are determined to make us fall in love with The Mother.

Rating

B+

The flash-forward makes up for all the bad jokes that Curtis spews. This episode felt overall more true to form, and I can breathe a sigh of relief that this season won’t be completely awful.

Now for some random thoughts and my favorite moments of the night…

Both Lily and Marshall hand out $100 bills in this episode. Who carries such large bills around like that?

“The Stinson Curse” segment was great, but why are we just hearing about it now?

“How about we nibble on my brother’s ding dong together.” –Barney (more incest jokes!)

Marshall’s road trip to the wedding with Sherri Shepherd will most likely be the most painful storyline of the season. How long until the entire gang is back together?

Time to warm up your tea and strumpets.

For months, the rumors have been swirling about a sequel to Dumb And Dumber, the Farrelly Brothers’ idiotic comedy classic from 1994. But now we have tangible proof that the film is in production: Jim Carrey, who starred as Lloyd Christmas in the original film, tweeted the above picture today, restoring my faith in humanity.

Few firm details are known about the project, but we do know that Kathleen Turner will appear as Freida Feltcher, the “legendary househound from Cranston.” The Farrellys tweeted the news about the character, who was mentioned in the original film as sleeping with both Lloyd and Harry (Jeff Daniels).

The film is tentatively slated for release next year.

After reports that he’d supposedly “retired” from the music industry, King Crimson guitarist-founding father Robert Fripp has reformed his seminal prog-rock outfit with a new lineup. He posted the news yesterday on Facebook, detailing the eighth version of the band, a triple-drum version (what?!) which features returning members Gavin Harrison (drums), Tony Levin (bass), Pat Mastelotto (drums), saxophonist Mel Collins (Whoa!), guitiarst Jakko Jakszyk, and drummer Bill Rieflin.

This is fantastic news, obviously, and very much unexpected given Fripp’s recent attitude toward reforming. But it’s also bittersweet news since former frontman Adrian Belew won’t be a part of the project.

In a news story posted on his record label site DGM Live, Fripp detailed the reformation, stating that the band will rehearse for at least a year before they’ll perform live. At this point, us Crimson nuts will take anything we can get.

“This is a very different reformation to what has gone before: seven players, four English and three American, with three drummers,” Fripp says. “The Seven-Headed Beast of Crim is in Go! mode.”

(SPOILERS AHEAD (or, um, be-head?), so duck and cover, Sleepy Hollow fans!)

Season One, Episode Two: “Blood Moon”

Written by: Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman & Mark Goffman, Directed by: Ken Olin

After a mythology-heavy pilot, the second episode of Sleepy Hollow gives us a taste of what the show will be like normally. It looks like they’ll be mixing that case-of-the-week formula with a few glimpses at the larger mythology of the show. It’s a tried-and-true structure, but it could grow tedious very quickly.

Quick Breakdown

Katrina visits Crane’s dreams again. This time she warns him about a new threat: “Before the four horsemen will ride, an army of evil will make way for their arrival. The first dark spirit rises with the blood moon.” Crane wakes up confused but ready to tackle this new mystery.

Meanwhile, Irving is giving Abbie a hard time about this investigation of a headless horseman. The two cops who saw him have recanted and the video of Andy’s death does not reflect what actually happened. Irving is back to being skeptical, but he is giving her some loose “latitude” for the investigation. His mood seems to be completely opposite form what it was at the end of last week’s episode.

She teams up with Crane again. He’s confined to a motel room with a guard, and only Abbie can take him out. Crane tells her about the dream, but they don’t have any idea what it’s about. She takes him to Corbin’s funeral and tells him about how Corbin was a father figure to her.

In the morgue, that Pan’s Labyrinth-like monster that killed Andy is back, reviving Andy’s dead body. Andy chokes up a medallion and is tasked with releasing someone. That someone turns out to be a crispy witch. “The ashes of the pious will ordain your resurrection; take their flesh and you will reclaim yours.” He tells her. They speak in vague pronouncements like this constantly. It makes sense considering how old these demons and witches are, but it’s so affected that it borders on annoying.

In a stolen patrol car (that no one seems to miss), Andy pulls over a guy named Jeremy Firth. He makes him say his full name, so we know that’s the important thing. Andy drives away and the crispy witch appears and sets the car on fire.

When Crane sees the crime scene with Abbie, he instantly knows who is responsible – it’s really helpful that he has a photographic memory. He tells Abbie the story of Serilda of Abaddon, a witch he had encountered who burnt entire camps to the ground. To learn more about her, Abbie suggests they look at Corbin’s files which have been locked away in a storage room.

There’s a quick pause in the case, as one of the officers at the station grills Crane. Fortunately, they’ve been developing a cover for Crane, so he answers the questions easily. The guy, Luke, turns out to be Abbie’s ex – they broke up because she was leaving. There’s lots of sexual tension between them in their two minutes of shared screen time.

To get the files, Crane takes Abbie to a secret underground series of tunnels that they built during the Revolutionary War. As they walk around the tunnels, Crane talks about witch bones being buried in the tunnels, and they find some old crates full of gunpowder. This scene reeks of foreshadowing, and we can assume both of these things will be important later.

They get access to the storage room and check out the files. Serilda was burnt alive by a magistrate, and as she died, she vowed to desiccate the magistrate’s ancestors when she rose again. Turns out, his only living relatives have the last name’s Firth and Hemington.

Undead Officer Andy has found a Hemington, a little boy. He makes him say his full name, creeping the boy out. Abbie and Crane rush to the Hemington house, but Serilda has already been there. She didn’t kill the boy, though (He’s adopted!). Instead she stole his dad’s ashes for her resurrection ritual.

For the ritual, Crane says she’ll need her bones, which are buried in those tunnels they were just at. They chase her around down there, and Crane uses that gunpowder to blow her up. Before she dies, though, she tells him that Katrina is trapped in a “world between worlds,” and Crane is hopeful that he may be able to release her. Andy is in the tunnels as well, but Abbie doesn’t see him. Also, no one seems to have noticed that his body is missing from the morgue.

With the world a little safer, Abbie is visited by the ghost of Corbin. He gives her some fatherly advice and mysteriously tells her, “Don’t be afraid of number 49.” Corbin vanishes before explaining anything else. Fortunately, we don’t have to wait long for this mystery to be solved.

Cut to the mental hospital where Abbie’s sister Jenny is a patient. She’s in room 49, secretly not taking the pills the nurse gives her. She’s training hard, keeping her body in shape. But she’s still haunted by the Pan’s Labyrinth monster.

Rating

B

I’m rarely a fan of the case-of-the-week formula, and it seems like a new witch threat every week will grow tiresome. This “army of evil” is a great way to develop stories, but it will definitely grow monotonous. However, there is just enough of other mythology developments to keep my interest in the show. It will be interesting to see how this all pans out.

Now for some random thoughts and my favorite moments of the night…

Crane is still wearing the same Revolutionary costuming. Are they ever going to give him fresh clothes?

“Evil has found a new home in Sleepy Hollow.” Crane’s grim pronouncement was delivered perfectly, as horribly clichéd as it is.

I was amused when Frank Sinatra’s “Witchcraft” played on the radio while Serilda attacked Jeremy Firth.

LOST fans should recognize the name “Abaddon” as belonging to Lance Reddick’s character from season 4.

“If you’re gonna haunt me, be helpful.” –Abbie (to Corbin)

In the Bandcamp/Soundcloud era, there’s a lot of crap floating around the internet — but there’s also a wealth of excellent music most people will never hear. With “Hidden Jams,” we put a spotlight on those great albums.

There are things afoot in Australia at the moment. Post-rock is a genre known primarily for its biggest bands, not its biggest scenes; people are more likely going to be able to rattle off names like Slint, Tortoise, Mogwai, Explosions in the Sky, and Caspian rather than certain regional scenes like the one in Ireland. As I mentioned some time ago in a piece on Ending Satellites and Solkyri, two acts responsible for some of 2013’s best post-rock, the Australian indie label Bird’s Robe Collective is a hotbed for post-rock, with impressive up-and-comers like Solkyri and Dumbsaint as well as big names like 65daysofstatic compromising its stellar roster.

Another name to include in the former group — though it’s looking more and more like it will become part of the latter — is sleepmakeswaves, an Australian band who made a considerable splash in 2012 by being nominated in the Best Hard Rock/Heavy Metal category of the Australian Recording Industry Association (ARIA) awards for its debut, …and so we destroyed everything. Not unlike the American Grammy awards, the ARIAs are a little liberal with their definition of “metal”; though there are moments where sleepmakeswaves ventures into post-metal terrain, the group’s sound fits most comfortably into the broadest categorization of post-rock.

This isn’t to say, however, that it’s post-rock by the numbers. Post-rock is a genre in a curious time and place; it’s gotten to the point where even when a band or artist in the genre hits all the requisite sonic signposts (crescendo and decrescendo, soaring guitar lines, a broad “cinematic” scope), to the point where the music feels rather been-there-done-that. (For evidence of this, look to the last few Pelican LPs.) As with any genre, blueprints and formulas emerge over time, with a potential result being the fossilization of the style itself. The artists think the fans will expect them to rely on the same old dynamic shifts, and new records will thus be shaped accordingly. With sleepmakeswaves, fortunately, this is far from the case.

…and so we destroyed everything was initially released in 2011 — only two years later is it seeing an official United States release via Monotreme — but even now, it is still a vital piece of work. Opener “to you they are birds, to me they are voices in the forest,” much like the aforementioned Solkyri’s “His Ghosts Will Invade Puerto Rico,” is the type of epic that any young musicians in the genre should use as a guide. (The group’s penchant for long, poetic names — a common trend amongst their like-minded contemporaries — is appropriately restrained, with no Red Sparowes-worthy word counts.) Equal parts mellifluous, driving, and soaring, the track is a wonderfully composed, full-bodied instrumental that offers little snippets of what’s to come — though it’s far from a simple tease. Like the seven cuts that follow, it’s immersive in exactly the way instrumental music should strive to be. It doesn’t insist upon its own epic qualities; everything flows in a perfectly natural rhythm and mood.

The shorter cuts also maintain a sense of grandeur, not willing to let their longer counterparts (the metallic “a gaze blank and pitiless as the sun” and the closing title-track) dominate solely by their running times. Numbers like “out time is short but your watch is slow” and “we like you when you’re awkward” draw from the same electronic influences that sleepmakeswaves’ Bird’s Robe compatriots 65daysofstatic play off of. Also nice is the use of strings throughout; rather refreshingly, the band didn’t instruct the violins to be a sweeping as possible, leading to a surprisingly harmonious interplay between the orchestral and electronic elements.

I first discovered sleepmakeswaves when I happened upon Bird’s Robe in early 2012. The EP that caught my eyes and ears, “in today already walks tomorrow” (available here with a name-your-own-price option) gave me an indication or two that this was something to not lose sight of on my radar. Disillusioned though I’ve become to even some of the bigger names in post-rock, the discovery of bands like Solkyri and sleepmakeswaves has not only broadened my scope to a genre that I previously understood in an insular way; it’s also made me realize that hope is far from lost for this kind of music. If nothing else, ..and so we destroyed everything does exactly what it title declares: it destroyed my preconceptions about a genre I once thought to be slumping into hibernation. As it turns out, there’s something of a great awakening happening in the land down under. sleepmakeswaves isn’t just making its splash in the states with the Monotreme release of …and so we destroyed everything; it’s a signal that there’s more ahead on the horizon.

You can stream ..and so we destroyed everything via the Bandcamp player below.

Track Listing

1. to you they are birds, to me they are voices in the forest
2. in limbs and joints
3. our time is short but your watch is slow
4. a gaze blank and pitiless as the sun
5. (hello) cloud mountain
6. now we rise and we are everywhere
7. we like you when you’re awkward
8. …and so we destroyed everything

Welp, I can’t say I ever thought I’d hear Maynard James Keenan as channeled by a pre-teen girl.

Music teacher Aaron O’Keefe hit the studio with his gang of young students and recorded this incredible version of Tool’s “Forty Six & 2.” These kids are way too cool for their age. (OK, they’re way cooler than most people, regardless of age.)

Not much to say about this, really. Just watch it. Kudos to the bassist and drummer, in particular, for absolutely killing it.

Here’s the original Tool version of “Forty Six & 2″ for comparison:

Meanwhile, Tool’s long-awaited fifth album is expected in 2014.

(SPOILERS AHEAD, so proceed with caution, South Park fans!)

Season 17, Episode One: “Let Go, Let Gov”

Written and Directed by: Trey Parker

South Park is back. Yes, the king of all tasteless animated comedies has returned for a shortened 10-episode season, and writer-director Trey Parker has wasted little time in tackling some of the year’s biggest satirical targets: the NSA, Twitter, and (of course) resident celebrity know-it-all Alec Baldwin.

“Let Go, Let Gov” is an ambitious episode — probably too ambitious. Its central conceit (Cartman infiltrating the NSA to expose its evil civilian monitoring secrets via a Baldwin-pimped Twitter knock-off called Shitter) is brilliant on paper. But its execution felt rushed, predictable, and somewhat unsatisfying, leaving the bulk of the laughs to the B-plot: Butters’ religious awakening at the DMV. Not an entirely memorable episode, but a solid warm-up for a shortened (and hopefully more concentrated) season 17.

Quick Breakdown

After a snazzy new intro, we cut to the bus stop, where Kyle complains about a “stupid bitch” who always shares every detail of their lives on speakerphone. Unsurprisingly, that idiot is Cartman, who approaches the group and starts ranting about his distrust of the government.

“Kyle is a total boner,” Cartman says, before telling his friend that — indeed — he knows about the government evil after having watched the “puppet show version” of 1984. Of course, when Kyle attempts to mute Cartman’s over-sharing, the latter immediately jumps to the conclusion that Kyle must be a secret NSA agent. Butters, always the resident dimwit, is perplexed, assuming that if the government “watches everything we do” that they must be an omnipotent, God-like being.

This set-up (much like the rest of the episode) felt a tad rushed, but it’s still a sharp premise in itself: Butters is playing the role of the Conservative Idiot, the overly trusting simpleton who thinks the government must very well have a good reason for spying on its citizens; Cartman, meanwhile, is playing the role of Liberal Idiot, the overly suspicious simpleton who can’t see what good might come from the government monitoring his e-mails and tweets.

So Cartman hatches his plot: to infiltrate the NSA by slapping on a fake mustache and applying for a job (with the name Bill Clinton). The NSA, over their heads with so much monitoring to do, immediately accept this eager young buck and put him behind a desk.

Then…well, not much happens. The initial set-up is brilliant in itself, but once Cartman actually reaches his destination, the episode hits a brick wall. Trying to gain intel about his own safety, “Bill Clinton” inquires about the threat status of “Eric Cartman,” whom the NSA have deemed “fat and unimportant.” Infuriated, Cartman demands that he should be monitored, and the NSA reveal their secret monitoring weapon: Santa Clause hooked up to a computer. It’s a really weak joke (Santa Clause checks to see who’s naughty and nice — get it?), especially by South Park standards, as is the forced bit about the NSA monitoring a guy who tweets about his awesome new fitness center.

Luckily, the rest of the episode is much sharper in its satire, even if the targets aren’t as controversial. Simply hearing the word “Shitter” brought a shameless smile to my face, and the concept behind the Twitter knock-off (subverting the NSA’s tweet-spying by sending your thoughts directly to an inter-connected virtual mind-space) is a brilliant reflection on the absurdity of over-sharing. Alec Baldwin’s disgusting “sheets” (Sample: “I had sex with the Queen of Monaco; I had my entire first up her ass”) brought some much-needed vile to a fairly tame episode, laugh-wise.

Meanwhile, the Butters B-plot (or at least its early exposition) offered a more intricate take on the subject matter. Confusing his acronyms, Butters heads to the DMV (instead of the NSA), where he confesses all of his unclean thoughts to an unsuspecting employee. “I yelled at a midget,” he says, while also noting that he simulated sex with a magazine cut-out of Jennifer Lawrence’s mouth. His penance? Singing “Livin’ In America” 1,000 times.

Of course, Cartman and Butters have always represented opposite extremes of gullibility, and Butters’ antics (as they were in this episode) are often funnier and less contrived. After hearing a pitch from a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses (and seeing their blasphemous pamphlet of a girl burning in hell), Butters redirects them to the DMV, where they can come clean to the government and live a pure life. “Your government is watching you,” he says, “And your government wants you to be happy.”

The eventual pay-off isn’t that revelatory: Butters transforms into a preacher for the Church of DMV, leading services as confused employees sit on the sidelines. Cartman, disillusioned and ready flee to Communist Russia (one of many Ed Snowden nods) is recruited by evangelist Butters, who begs his friend to “let the government into (his) heart.”

Ultimately, though, the revolution dissipates when the DMV is caught up in a sex scandal with young boys. (Get it? Just like the Catholic Church!)

Rating

B-

The brilliance of South Park is its refusal to point fingers in only one direction, but the satire here is less focused than normal. (Is the Church being emphasized as a much-needed safe-haven in our age of paranoia? Or is it just as corrupt?) This show doesn’t have to be deep, as long as it’s funny. And “Let Go, Let Gov” wasn’t quite enough of either.

Now for some random thoughts and my favorite moments of the night…

Cartman’s voice sounded a bit weird — too scratchy?

“Just finished my Shitter commercial. Time to go find a pussy sandwich.” — Alec Baldwin

Cartman’s fake mustache looks like a scared open mouth.

Officer Barbrady at the DMV confessing that he “masturbated to Game of Thrones.”

Photo Credit: Autumn de Wilde

Colin Meloy is currently stepping out from his alt-folk band The Decemberists for his fourth solo tour. On Saturday, November 9th, the singer-songwriter stopped by Headliners Music Hall in Louisville, KY.

Meloy’s set began with the new track “The Singer Addresses His Audience,” which showcased a lighthearted blend of witty self-awareness, before quickly transitioning into the Decemberists standard “July, July”, instantly bombarding the 600-plus attendees with a wave of excited familiarity and sing-along. Without his bandmates sharing the stage, Meloy delivered the stripped-down songs on acoustic guitar, replacing the lack of accompaniment with intimacy, referring to the concert as a campfire early on in his stage banter. Having seen the band play to a crowd of over 30 thousand on the last Decemberists tour in 2011, it was difficult not to draw comparisons, but songs like “Calamity Song” and “The Crane Wife 3″ instantly garnered a feeling of reverence almost impossible to capture on the summer-festival circuit.

The selection of songs expanded throughout Meloy’s entire catalogue, ranging from The Decemberists’ most recent album The King Is Dead (the gentle “January Hymn”), to earlier cuts from Castaways and Cutouts (“California One/Youth and Beauty Brigade”) and Her Majesty the Decemberists (“Los Angeles, I’m Yours”). He even briefly went further back into his songwriting career, playing the song “Tristan & Iseolte” from his pre-Decemberists band Tarkio, claiming it was “ancient” before strumming the solemn, low-tempo song for the audience.

To keep up with the tradition of his solo tour, Colin Meloy recorded a covers EP featuring five songs by The Kinks (His other covers EPs include Morrissey, Shirley Collins, and Sam Cooke). He performed the Kinks song “Harry Rag” for the first time on the tour, which earned a warm reception. The show wrapped up with an encore of all three parts of The Crane Wife from the 2006 album of the same name. This left the crowd slightly nostalgic — but also curious as to what may be next on Meloy’s agenda.

Setlist:

1.”The Singer Addresses His Audience”
2.”July, July”
3.”Calamity Song”
4.”Los Angeles, I’m Yours”
5.”Harry Rag” (The Kinks)
6.”Won’t Want For Love (Margaret in the Taiga)”
7.”Tristan & Iseolte” (Tarkio)
8. New Song
9.”Engine Driver”
10.”On the Bus Mall”
11.”January Hymn”
12.”California One/Youth and Beauty Brigade”

Encore

13. “Crane Wife 1″
14. “Crane Wife 2″
15. “Crane Wife 3″

It’s been a number of years since I’ve been to Chattanooga, TN’s Rhythm and Brews. I have a lot of happy memories at this venue, so Saturday night’s Birdsmell show was like a homecoming for me.

The opener, a guy named Bryan Cates, stood on stage with his acoustic guitar and black-framed eyeglasses, playing a short set of mostly love songs. I felt bad for him because practically nobody paid him much attention. And when he asked the sound tech to up his guitar microphone, the tech yelled out that next time, he needed to bring a pickup for his guitar. As Cates left the stage, he received a quiet round of applause, though I think it was mostly in response to him leaving.

Before starting his performance, Ben Bridwell could be seen walking onstage, tuning his guitar and testing his equipment, as if it was no big deal. And it wasn’t. That casual vibe set the stage for his show – an intimate affair with a man whose been known to pack out arenas at times with Band of Horses.

The fact that Bridwell was recovering from losing his voice didn’t deter him from playing a solid, mostly acoustic show. He did his best to make it through the roughly 15 songs he played during the show and the six songs he played for his encore. That’s right, folks: Bridwell played an encore, even though his voice wasn’t in tip-top shape. Because that’s the kind of performer he is.

He started solo for the first half, playing a few Band of Horses songs, including a lovely version of Everything All the Time closer “St. Augustine.” Matt Gentling from Archers of Loaf eventually joined him on bass, and the duo played a few songs Bridwell had written over the years but had not officially released. This Birdsmell tour has clearly given Bridwell a chance to drop his guard a bit: A main fixture of his setlists has been a surprisingly tender cover of Florida-Georgia Line’s country-rap smash “Cruise.”

Bridwell interacted with the audience as much as he could, despite the surprisingly large amount of talking going on within the audience. It’s something I had forgotten about with this particular venue, and I assumed that with an artist of this stature, it would have been a deterrent. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. At times, the crowd was talking so loudly that my wife and I had to strain at points to hear what the musician was saying. And at one point, Bridwell himself noted between songs how loud it was. It was really annoying. Even more annoying was the amount of people making out at this show, including a couple right in front of us who kept looking back at us periodically. I couldn’t tell if they were silently inviting us to join them or trying to get our approval.

It’s funny how your perspective can change over a few years. At one time, Rhythm and Brews was one of my go-to venues for live music. But this time, I was embarrassed at the amount of general disrespect that was showed by the audience to Bridwell, who liked Chattanooga so much when he played here with Band of Horses just a few months ago that he hand-picked it for this tour.

Bridwell, of course, took everything in stride. He had fun playing — and more importantly, I could tell he was having fun. When he came out after the show, he took time to chat with fans, get photos made and thank everyone personally for coming.

Thank you, Ben Bridwell, for coming back to Chattanooga. Please don’t let this experience keep you from coming back. We’d love to have you.

Check out Amy Fletcher’s photos below:

It’s been four long years (2009′s No Line on the Horizon) since we last heard new music from Bono’s gang of alt-rock gods. But after months and months of teases and mysteries about the band’s long-awaited new project, it looks like we finally have some kind of concrete info about their 13th studio album. According to Billboard, the LP is set for a tentative release in April 2014.

And, since this is Bono we’re talking about, it’s only fitting that the band want to make the official announcement as dramatic as possible: They’re currently looking for brand partners to help unveil the album in a Super Bowl commercial. (Why don’t they just drop free copies into the stadium?)

Here’s what we know about the album: It’s being produced by psych-soul chameleon Danger Mouse, who also splits his time as a member of both Broken Bells and Gnarls Barkley. (Let’s face it: The guy gets around.) The songs were recorded primarily at Electric Lady Studios in New York.

We’ve heard rumors about Danger Mouse’s involvement since 2010, but it’s exciting to know he’s officially involved in the project. I was a bit disappointed in No Lone on the Horizon, which struck me as slightly bland and monochromatic — I really think Danger Mouse’s psychedelic approach will give the band a much-needed boost sonically.

The only snippet of new music we’ve heard thus far is a minute-long tease of a song called “Ordinary Love,” which is featured in a trailer for the upcoming biopic Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom. That track finds Bono crooning soulfully over a spread of dramatic organs and piano. Sounds pretty standard U2-ish, but it’s easy to see Danger Mouse working some magic in that territory. (We’ll find out on November 29th: The track is being released as part of Record Store Day’s Black Friday event.)

What do you think? Are you even excited about the idea of a U2 album?

While Maynard James Keenan has been incredibly active lately with his “other band,” A Perfect Circle, things are still fairly quiet with Tool, who are still working away at their upcoming fifth album (which, as we recently noted, is expected to be released next year).

In a new interview with Rolling Stone, Keenan opened up about why the LP (their first since 2006′s 10,000 Days) is taking so long to get sorted out.

“I don’t write the music. They write the music,” Keenan says of his bandmates (guitarist Adam Jones, bassist Justin Chancellor, drummer Danny Carey). “I wait for them to bring music to me. They tend to go back over and over stuff. It’s a long process. For a person like me, it can be a very tedious process.”

Keenan also notes that the band’s perfectionism is partly to blame for the delay, but he acknowledges that’s simply a part of the Tool process.

“In some ways, they are bigger perfectionists,” he says. “But you can only help support their talent so long. They don’t have to go through it 700 times. They can trust that first thought. But that’s their process, so you gotta let them do it.” He also notes that he “couldn’t tell you” whether or not that process is actually happening.

Keenan remains unclear about exactly what the album will sound like — or what its lyrical inspirations will be. But he’s eager to “push the boundaries” and take his band’s music some place new.

“You want to figure out how can you challenge yourself to discover something new, discover something different about yourself,” he says. “What are your limitations? What avenues can you push and expand? That is life. I don’t have any interest in coasting yet.”

Back in July, Carey noted that he, Jones, and Chancellor were “working on (their) compositions together.”

(SPOILERS AHEAD, so witch your step, Coven fans!)

Season Three, Episode Six: “The Axeman Cometh”

Written by: Douglas Petrie; Directed by: Michael Uppendahl

Coven’s burgeoning guest list continues to expand this week with the addition of Danny Huston and Grace Gummer. But that’s OK because the writing team has dastardly plans for Huston’s Axeman. And, apparently, while the more mature witches are distracted, Zoe has too much leeway in running the show at Robichaux’s.

Quick Breakdown

New Orleans, 1919: Serial killer The Axeman (Huston) has announced to the city that he intends to kill on Tuesday night. However, anyone playing jazz from their homes will be passed over — turns out, The Axeman is pretty serious about everyone enjoying jazz. At Robichaux’s, a tight-knit coven of suffragette witches decides (at Gummer’s behest) to not play jazz and face The Axeman with all their strength instead. He hears operatic music playing from the manor and creeps up to the bedroom. There, the witches ambush him and stab him to death Julius Caesar-style.

In the present, Fiona is miserable as she does chemo. She suddenly has the gift to hear other people’s thoughts and is not pleased with what she hears. After a nurse calms her down from a freak out, she pathetically says she wants one last great love before she dies.

At the manor, Zoe is taking charge of her gang. She’s noticed the dwindling number of witches and wants to band together and grow stronger. Nan is noncommittal, too busy pining for Luke; and Queenie is too pompous to be in some white girl sorority. Yet they both relent and do absinthe shots with Zoe before playing with the Ouija board (which mysteriously drew her to it earlier that day). Zoe wants to know where Madison is, and an evil spirit in the house can help.

Queenie warns her not to engage the spirit. But Zoe is foolhardy and strikes a deal with the spirit by herself: she’ll help him move on in exchange for Madison’s location. He leads her to the attic, but she has no intention of releasing the spirit of the Axeman. In the attic, she finds Madison’s decomposing body. The gang of three tortures Spalding for answers about Madison’s demise, but Zoe instinctually knows that he’s lying when he says he did it.

Fortunately, Zoe knows someone who can help. Out in the bayou, Misty is watering her garden, which includes the buried, burned body of Myrtle. Franken-Kyle shows up and has a major freak out when Misty starts acting like his incestuous mother. Zoe shows up just in time to calm him and asks Misty for another favor. At the greenhouse, it takes all of Misty’s finesse and Zoe’s assist to revive the corpse of Madison. Unfortunately for Zoe, all she remembers about her death is the color red.

Fiona and Hank bring Cordelia home, but she screams at Hank when she gets glimpses of the redhead he slept with. He flees to Laveau, his employer. We learn that Hank is a witch hunter (The redhead, Kaylee, was a witch, hence her seduction and execution) and Laveau is using him to diminish the Salem witches. He blames her for the acid attack, but Laveau does not take the credit for it. She tells him he’s gone soft and demands he brings the heads of all the witches at the Robichaux’s Academy to her immediately.

That night, The Axeman appears in Cordelia’s room. He’s still between worlds, but he attacks Cordelia in the hopes of drawing in the other witches. He’s very angry about Zoe’s betrayal. Zoe grabs her girls and finds a spell to remove him from the house. However, that leaves him free to enter the rest of the world — he ends up at a bar where he hits on an unassuming, depressed Fiona.

Rating

B+

The writers are doing a great job of balancing multiple storylines this season. And they’re giving us answers to most of the puzzling twists in swift fashion (i.e. Hank’s mysterious past, why is Emma Roberts a series regular). Plus, how many Twitterers are going to ship The Axeman and Fiona now? This has been another solid outing from the team.

Now for some random thoughts and my favorite moments of the night…

“His prose could use refinement, but we got the point.” – One of the sister witches discussing the Axeman’s warning letter to New Orleans.

“He broke Stevie.” – Misty mourning the destruction of her primitive boom box during Franken-Kyle’s rampage.

Madison is back! And after some herbal lotions and a mud bath, her decomposed skin looks as good as new (Phew! no one wants to stare at zombie Emma Roberts)!

“I need a cigarette.” – Madison’s first words after being resurrected.

The revelations about Hank’s character were so wonderful, how do the writers come up with these great plot twists?

“Go to hell!” –Cordelia fighting with the Axeman. “Ladies first.” – his reply.

Did anyone else pick up on the Smash connection between Danny Huston and Grace Gummer (she played Anjelica Huston’s daughter on the series)? Will AHS’s next season bring horror to Broadway? Will Smash be resurrected?

Also, in a genius casting coup, Stevie Nicks will be appearing later on this season.

(SPOILERS AHEAD, so proceed with caution, South Park fans!)

Season 17, Episode Seven: “Black Friday”

Written and Directed by: Trey Parker

The first of (what I’m must be) a lengthier story arc, “Black Friday” taps into America’s bloodthirsty, coupon-clipping obsession with GETTING THE BEST DEAL. As the local mall offers a massive 80% discount to the first 30 customers through the gate, the townspeople grow increasingly obsessed — to the point of transforming into flesh-eaters. Randy, naturally the first South Park character to jump at a scheme, assumes a position as a mall cop to secure his place in line. Meanwhile, the kids channel Game of Thrones by assembling into separate tribes — one in pursuit of the new X-Box, another craving a PS4.

“Black Friday” really only showed us part of the full story, and for that reason, it felt a bit slight — leaving with a massive cliffhanger and a lot of feet-dragging in the B-plot. The episode’s central theme (commercialization and exploitation) is familiar territory for this show, but as always, Parker and company handle it gracefully.

Quick Breakdown

“The holiday season is here,” says a mall cop. “And Black Friday is upon us.” As we come to realize, 26 people were massacred during last year’s rush to savings, and this year’s 80% off special will only lead to hysteria. Randy is “just trying to earn some extra holiday cash” by working as a mall cop, but a grizzled officer nicknamed Ol’ Pap says “not to estimate the battle” that’s about to take place in the mall. “Winter is coming,” he warns.

Meanwhile, Cartman walks to Kenny’s house, dressed as a wizard. “I need to speak with Lady McCormick,” he requests

Dressed in Game of Thrones-styled costumes, the kids gather in Cartman’s basement, along with “Lady McCormick” (Kenny with a blonde wig). Cartman discusses the next-gen gaming devices on the market and also notes that, yes, “winter is upon” them. And it’s a cold, cold winter indeed: Stan decides they should band together and bumrush the mall to nab a PS4, but Cartman insists on the new X-Box. This leads to dramatic split, and two rival families are born. The Console Wars are upon us.

This story essentially drags its feet throughout the episode — a twist compared to the show’s recent pace, which has been cramming in too much story in too small of a space. The two warring parties train their warriors separately, and Stan’s measly PS4 faction struggle to recruit outside members, even enlisting a gang of kindergarteners (and attempting to court the Goth kids).

The other plotline in “Black Friday” has more momentum — and way more laughs.

“Christimas is coming,” Randy sings. He comes home and tells Sharon he took the temp job to make some extra cash. She thinks he’s trying to get in the front of the line on Black Friday — and she’s right. “Isn’t Black Friday supposed to be about buying things for other people?”, Sharon asks. But this is a lesson Randy must learn the hard way.

Meanwhile, the release of the new “Stop Touching Me, Elmo” has the town on the verge of hysteria. (“Can I watch you go potty?”, Elmo asks in a commercial, one of the episode’s stupidest — and, yes, funniest — bits. Elmo has a toothpaste dispenser that essentially makes him ejaculate toothpaste.) After learning about the new toy, Ol’ Pap feels winter seeping into his bones — warning of the bloodshed ahead.

Sir Cartman talks to Lady McCormick and says he might need to exploit “her” loveliness to help get rid of Sir Kyle. The tension is palpable. Meanwhile, Randy browses around the mall and is surprised when Ol’ Pap confronts him. He tells Randy that he reminds him of himself, that he really appreciates his dedication to the mall cop team. Randy, of course, is wrecked with guilt — he doesn’t care about his co-workers; he only wants a cheap plasma screen.

Back at the PS4 camp, Sir Stan is upset — things are looking bleak. But a ray of hope comes after the Sony CEO unveils the Brack Friday Bunduru, a PS4 bundle that includes (along with a map of Japan) a pre-order for Metal Gear Solid 5. (I hate to admit it, but the cheap Asian accent jokes always get me). With this news, Sir Kyle is dismayed, wondering why X-Box can’t have a pre-order. Is camp X-Box suffering a hit?

Back at the mall, the Black Friday mob has essentially become a zombie hoard — during a scuffle, Ol’ Pap is stabbed and dies a dramatic death. “You can’t die — everyone really likes you!”, Randy confesses, but it’s too late. “You are in charge now,” Pap says, pasting his fake eye scar on Randy’s eye. “We have work to do,” Randy says, as he motivates his team.

Rating

B+

A strong set-up episode that promises an even stronger resolution. While some of the Game of Thrones stuff fell flat for me, I still got big laughs from Butters’ wiener talk and Lady McCormick. Really excited to see how this wraps up.

Now for some random thoughts and my favorite moments of the night…

News report: One-toothed woman says they slather themselves in pig blood; a family says they lost their daughter last year when her head got stepped on and crushed; a huge fat woman says anyone who thinks they’ll get beaten can “kiss (her) fat vagina”

Butters has a Game of Thrones theory — that when a weiner is shown, the character is gay. “I could just do with a little less gay weiner, that’s all.”

When they do show a straight dude’s weiner, it’s all soft and floppy!” — Butters; “You seem to be somewhat obsessed with weiners.” — Cartman

Back in March, David Bowie released his 24th studio album, The Next Day, marking an enigmatic return after a decade without a new LP. For most of the music community, it was a total surprise: Bowie shrouded the sessions in secrecy, refused to do promotional interviews, and chose a bizarre album cover (one most fans thought was a prank).

But the hubbub was worth it: The Next Day ranks among The Thin White Duke’s most acclaimed albums since his golden age in the ’70s. And, luckily for fans, he made a hell of a lot of music during those sessions.

One lucky Bowie disciple will have a chance to win a Next Day prize pack, which features a CD/DVD pack version of the LP (which features the original album, along with a few remixes) and 10″ vinyl singles for “Valentines Day,” “The Stars (Are Out Tonight,” and “The Next Day” (on white square vinyl — yes, we’ll let that sink in for a second). To win, all you have to do is share your favorite Bowie hidden gem (whether it’s a rarity, a b-side, or an album track most people overlook). Then tell us why it should have been an a-side. What makes this track so special?

The deadline for the giveaway is next Friday, November 22nd, at 5:00 p.m. EST.

Below, check out DFA legend James Murphy’s “Hello Steve Reich” Remix of “Love Is Lost”:

When it comes time for Rush frontman/bass icon Geddy Lee to cast his vote for the 2014 class of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, his selections probably won’t be surprising.

In a recent interview with Radio.com, Lee claims he’s still trying to figure out his voting situation, but he’s definitely leaning toward a couple iconic bands. “Well, certainly Deep Purple, certainly Yes,” he says. “I have to give it a more complete thought, but those are two names that stand out as omissions in my view. I think one of the things the Hall of Fame looks for is influential bands. And if influence is a big part of their criteria, you can make the case clearly for Deep Purple.”

Of course (as I recently made clear), Yes clearly have the credentials for the Rock Hall, and the same can be said for hard rock icons Deep Purple. It’s great to see Lee (who was recently inducted with his Rush bandmates) showing his support.

Meanwhile, in the same interview, Lee is asked his thoughts about indie-rock band Pavement and their 1997 track “Stereo,” which ruminates on Lee’s famously high singing voice. (“What about the voice of Geddy Lee?,” sings Stephen Malkmus. “How did it get so high? I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?”

Lee, being the zen-like rock god that he is, says he thinks the lyrics are “fantastic.”

“I thought it was hilarious,” he says. “I loved it. I’m glad they did it. It’s totally cool.”

Just one more reason why Geddy Lee is a bad-ass.

Here’s another: